Heres What I know: Mixed Signals when you are dating

Have you ever wondered if you give mixed signals when you are dating?

Here's what I know:

With regard to calling after the date, it is better to say, "I will talk to you soon" as opposed to "I will talk to you tomorrow." Women take these type of statements very literally and they notice when that call doesn't come "tomorrow" but instead comes three days later. If you had said "I will call you soon" you would have gotten brownie points for the call three days later, but because you said "tomorrow" now you will be penalized for your efforts.

If you are not romantically interested in someone, then you shouldn't plan another date to see them. In the dating arena, people are not looking for "new friends", they are looking for relationships. If you ask someone out for another date or if you accept another date, the presumption is that there is romantic interest. Hence, if you are only going out again to be nice, don't do this because going under false pretenses is actually not "nice" at all. However, if you aren't certain as of yet how you feel about someone, it is okay to go out again and try to figure your feelings out; no one is expected to know instantaneously if someone is right for them for the long haul and sometimes it takes a few tries to figure that out.

Texting back and forth the next day implies romantic interest. If you are thinking that texting in a fun, back and forth way will morph you into instantaneous "friends", you are wrong. Any type of back and forth and fun banter makes the other person think you are interested in them and interested in seeing them for another date. If you are not, don't be in touch in that way. Friendship might be a possibility in the future, but not the day after the date.

Talking to your date about the other people you are dating while on the date gives a mixed message. Yes, when we were younger, trying to make the other person jealous and trying to make it seem like we were "oh so popular" with a very full dance cardwas very in vogue. However, today when you are an adult and looking for a real relationship, this is not the right way to entice and maintain interest from someone you are dating. It is understood in dating that you are not a shut-in and that you have and get asked on other dates, but it is also understood that it is not proper etiquette to talk about others on a date. If you talk about all your other dates on a date, your date will probably assume you aren't interested, so if you are, keep your active social life to yourself.

Kissing if you are not romantically interested in someone is a huge mixed signal. If you aren't romantically interested and you know that the other person is interested in you, go find your "nookie" somewhere else. If you make out with someone on a date, that person is going to expect to hear from you again and is going to expect that the two of you will be going out on another date. Why wouldn't he or she expect that? And keep in mind that even if the kiss was "just okay" the recipient is still going to expect another date because first date kisses always get "do-over" because of the awkwardness of the moment.

No kiss also gives a signal. If someone goes in for the kiss kill and you turn your cheek, turn away or greet them with sealed lips, even out of nervousness, this will imply that you are not romantically interested. If you were actually interested in the person and sent the wrong signal by accident, you need to let the person know asap. Perhaps the next day, send a text and be cute, "had fun last night, looking forward to trying that "end part" again. :)". The best way to clarify a mixed signal is to give a clear signal or at least a signal that has a hintof clarity!

Women pay attention to what a guysays more than what he does even though we all know thatactions speak louder than words. Translation: If you say you are going to do something like invite her to go out with your friends this weekend , even if you don't actually ever mention it again, she is still going to fixate more on the fact that you said it and then didn't do it rather than just the fact that you didn't do it

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).

Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd

Matchmaker in the know: Bad breath foods that kill a date

Have you ever wondered what foods and things are the biggest bad breath offenders??

Here’ s what I know…

-Red wine is the biggest offender. A lot of people prefer red wine, a lot of people say that red wine is good for your health and a lot of people think red wine is more sophisticated. However, red wine makes your breath smell bad and its stains a lot of people’s teeth. Translation- you breathe smells bad AND you are talking to someone you like with purple teeth. Choose vodka instead. Its odorless

-Not eating gives you bad breath. If you didn’t eat all day, then you have that I am hungry breath and that is very hard to get rid of. Make sure you pop several mints when you leave you office and grab something like a banana that should take the smell away.

-Peanuts give you bad breath and the smell lingers on you. I know its tempting to eat those peanuts on the table at the bar but choose the cashews or the pistachios instead.

-Olives give you bad breath. Don’t eat a bowl of them at the bar and on a date, don’t ask for extras in your martini so you can chow down on them, they are bad for your breath.

-Garlic- everyone knows garlic is a breath killer but these days a lot of people don’t care because they love these Pasta Puttanesca. Keep in mind that not only does garlic kill your breath but a lot of people sweat garlic out of their pours so you wind up with body odor as well as bad breath! If you want a good night kiss, save you pasta craving for football night with the guys!

Here's what I know... Men like women who act like women.

Have you ever wondered what type of women, men really like??

Here's what I know...

1. Men like women who act like women. This does not mean that you need to act like a frail woman or a Stepford wife, but it means that you should act in such a way so that he feel like he is the man and you are the woman.

2. Men like women who let a man help them. Men need to feel needed whether it's in a small way- changing a light bulb or answering a question for you or whether it's in a larger way- coming to your rescue in a bad situation or calming you down when you are freaking out. If you make him feel like you don't need him at all, he will leave you.

3. Men like women who act flirty. Flirting is the most important thing about male/female interaction- it's the best part of the "game." If you don't know how to flirt, it's important that you learn.

4. Men like women who giggle. This does not mean that you need to act like a "ditz," but keep in mind that the definition of a giggle is "a flirty laugh" and giggling tells the guy two things--that you think he's funny and that you like him because you are flirting with him through your laugh.

5. Men like women who dress like a woman. Men like women in dresses- they just do. You can make any excuse you want about thinking you look better in pants, but a guy will always appreciate and admire a woman in a dress.

6. Men like women who allow a man act like a man, women who let him watch football with the guys, have a guys night out once in awhile, even belch inappropriately from time to time. If you emasculate your guy, he will either turn into a guy who you won't respect or he will leave you because he will wind up not respecting himself.

Here's what I know... Women notice the little things you do or don't do.

Did you ever wonder what are the things upon which women judge you?

Here's what I know...

1. She notices if you suggest she come to a place right near you for the date, a place that is nowhere near her and then you don't offer to go pick her up. And on top of that, you make no apology for this lack of consideration.

2. She notices if you tip under 20 percent because the norm is 20 percent.

3. She notices if you don't tip on liquor because everyone tips on liquor.

4. She notices if you get out of the taxi first, don't offer to escort her home and then don't offer to pay to get her home.

5. She notices if you talk about yourself all night long and never even remember to ask her one question about her.

6. She notices if you check out every girl who walks in the door, even the ugly ones; she's not blind you know!

Here’s what I know…Vacationing without your beau will tell you a lot.

Have you ever wondered if "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "out of sight, out of mind" is the best adage to describe your feelings for your significant other?

Here’s what I know…

1. When you are traveling, if you keep thinking that you wish your beau could share thing after thing with you, you are into your beau.

2. However, when you are traveling, if you find yourself relieved to have the time apart and away from your beau, this should tell you something.

3. And, if you find that you have and are excited to have a wandering eye, this should tell you something.

4. And, if your phone calls and your emails to your beau are out of obligation not desire, this should tell you something.

5. And, if you find yourself wanting to stay away longer just to be away from the responsibilities of your relationship, this should tell you something.

6. And, if you find yourself having more fun with your flirtatious vacation fling than you have with your beau at home, this should tell you something.

Here’s what I know… If you get caught in an awkward dating snafu, tell the truth

Have you ever been caught with your “hand in the cookie jar” in dating and you just don’t know how to handle it?

Here’s what I know…

1. The truth is usually the least messy way to go.

2. Be apologetic not defensive

3. Pay compliments, lots of them

4. Explain yourself right away; the longer you hedge, the more her imagination can run wild.

5. Explain why you did what you did, calmer and simply.

6. Send flowers or chocolates afterwards, even if she accepted your apology. Remember you were in the dog house bigtime.

Here's what I know... This is chemistry

Have you ever wondered what chemistry is and whether or not you are experiencing it with the person you are dating?

Here's what i know...

1. Chemistry is when you feel this involuntary need to touch or kiss the other person and you feel like you can't stop yourself from doing it.

2. Chemistry is when 4 hours passes and it feels like 15 minutes

3. Chemistry is when you eat food at a restaurant but you don't really remember if it was good or bad because you were more focused on the connection.

4. Chemistry is when you go home after seeing someone feeling like you took a drug because you are having a dopamine rush .

5. Chemistry is when you know deep down that this person might drive you crazy once in awhile, but will keep you interested for a lifetime.

6. Chemistry is when you just feel a pull to someone- a crazy feeling that you can't explain even when you don't think that person is right for you or even when you don't want to feel it.

7. Chemistry is not when you are not forcing conversation and trying to figure out activities to do with someone because you are fearful for that one on one time where you will have to admit that there is no real chemistry.

Check out the movie- Mr and Mrs Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie- the chemistry there was crystal clear, so much so that he left his wife for it!

Here's what I know... Music is a good indicator of connection

Have you ever wondered if it matters that you and your beau have radically different music tastes?

Here's what I know...

(1) Connection can come from anything, but the more things you have in common, the more intense the relationship is going to be.

(2) Music can provide a really fun connection between two people, especially when you both feel comfortable enough to sing the words to the tunes outloud and off-key to each other!

(3) A good old-fashioned music concert with a band you both love is great foreplay!

(4) Even if he likes Led Zeppelin and you like Barry Manilow, but you both love Earth Wind and Fire and Fleetwood Mac, you have it made!

(5) If your music taste is not exactly the same, when you going on a trip in the car, you need to agree upfront that you will alternate music choices.

(6) Music is a hobby so it is not critical that you have the same taste in it, but it is important that you are open to exploring each other's taste.

Here's what I know... your beau needs to pass the "deserted island test" if she is going to go the distance.

Have you ever wondered if you are dating someone who can grab and keep your interest such that you won't stray or leave?


Here's what I know...


(1) If a person can't keep your mental interest in the beginning when you first start dating, how will you stay interested in 1 yr, 5 yr 10yrs, or a lifetime?

(2) If you are a hot blooded person, face the facts, you need to have a relationship that has highs and lows, and runs hot and very hot; a vanilla, ordinary relationship is only going to make you want to cheat or leave.


(3) It is much easier to be with someone who just "gets it" and "gets you" than to be with someone who might be a "head-turner" for a moment, but with whom you just can't have an intense relationship.

(4) If you find someone who you personally think is hot,who actually gets you and grabs and holds your mental interest, this one is a keeper because this is very rare.

(5) Many times the very thing that draws you to a person initially like how "hot" she is or how much money he makes, will not sustain a relationship in the long haul.

(6) You should really think about whether you would want to be with this person on a deserted island because there will be many times during the course of your relationship that it will really be just the two of you. Will this person hold your interest? Keep you laughing? Will the time pass quickly, interestingly?

Here's what I know... Sometimes it good to have no plans and see what can happen.

Have you ever noticed that the most fun you have is when you don't have any plans and things just happen?

Here's what I know...

(1) People in big cities are super busy so sometimes having plans on the fly works better.

(2) In today's day and age, playing "hard to get" is not necessarily a good thing if it stops you from doing something you might enjoy.

(3) Sometimes, being open to possibilities, can bring you a world of possibilities that you were not expecting.

(4) Sometimes when you are locked into too many plans, you will miss the forest between the trees.

(5) Sometimes it is better to be open for something new, rather than just planning the same old thing again and again.

(6) If you find yourself with a no plan night, take a chance and go somewhere you would never go and see what might unfold.

Here's what I know... Secrets about men

Do you ever wonder if men speak a secret language that we woman are just not privy to?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men and women think differently, they just do. You can't change this, you need to accept it.

(2) Men won't answer an email where you ask them a question until they have the answer to that question. This means that they won't even think to say, "checking on it, will get back to you." They simply assume you know this!

(3) Men don't need little flirty chitchat during the work day. This doesn't mean that they don't like it sometimes, but they don't need it, the way women do.

(4) Men have very short attention spans for your lonnnnggggg stories. You can count on maybe 6o seconds before their mind wonders to baseball stats or to check out the hot blond in the corner. Don't' be offended by this, just try to make your stories shorter.

(5) Men remember things in generalities. They remember that you are getting together on Saturday night, but they may not remember when they said they would call you to confirm the plan. All they know is that the plan is there and they expect you to know that as well.

(6) Men don't obsess about relationshipy things to 10 of their friends like you do. Hence, chances are, they have analyzed the situation from quite as many angles as you have. You can't be mad at them for this since they didn't have a team of advisors on the case!

Here's what I know... Men like girls in dresses

Do you ever wonder what men really like girls to wear?

Here's what I know...

(1)Men like girls to look feminine and girly. A woman in a work pants suit is NOT going to get a guy's juices flowing as readily as a woman in a little spring dress.

(2) If you have time to go home after the office and before a date, do it. What you wear matters.

(3) Guys like color. This does not mean that you have to dress like Bozo the clown, but a little infusion of color makes you seem brighter and more carefree.

(4) Men don't really like black. Black from time to time is fine, but all the time is too Morticia -like and men don't care for it. Trust me, they tell me this ALL the time.

(5) Men like dresses. A man will notice the one girl in a dress who isn't as pretty as some of the other girls, just because she is in a dress and seems more feminine. Guys like this.

(6) Guys like sexy not sleazy. A hint of cleavage is good, the whole boob is not!

Here's what I know... Men need different things than a woman in a relationship

Do you ever wonder how it is possible that your guy needs something so different from what you need in your relationship?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men think big picture. They know you are having dinner together and that they are getting to see you, but they usually spend much time thinking about where.

(2) Men know when they like you and they don't need like sweet nothings and cute exchanges to be sure of their feelings the way women do.

(3) Men have about a 90 second attention span of a story. Keep the long ones for your girlfriends.

(4) Men focus more on what happens when you are together and they don't spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship when you are not together.

(5) Men don't spend time during the week, recounting cute stories about your date to their friends. The most they usually say is, "it was cool, she's hot, I like her, I am seeing her again"- the basics and that's all he needs.

(6) Men can be thinking positively about a woman without being in touch with her. It's like he has the comfort of knowing her likes you without the need to be in touch with you every second. This is a hard one to get used to.

Here's what I know... Signs he is into you

Do you ever wonder what are the real signs he is into you?

Here's what I know...

(1) If he ask you for plans at the end of a date with you, he is into you.

(2) If he wants you to meet his friends, he is into you.

(3) If he seeks your approval about things he could clearly decide upon on his own, he is into you.

(4) If he remembers little things you tell him when he so many things on his mind, he is into you.

(5) If he tries to please you at the expense of what is pleasing to himself, he is into you.

(6) If he makes time for you when he is clearly over-extended, he is into you.

Here's what I know... Sometimes it's better to stay home and recharge!

Have you ever just had the blahhs and just didn't feel like going out, even though you knew that you should make the effort??

Here's what I know...

(1) My grandmother always told me that if you get invited you go because you never know who you are going to meet, but she also told me that if you are in a bad mood, don't subject anybody else to it. As a single girl, you need to reconcile my grandmother's words of wisdom

(2) Sometimes you need a old fashioned night in where you take a bubble bath, watch a chick flick and polish your toenails.

(3) It's okay to pass on an invite that might just put you in a worse mood.

(4) Often times after you recharge your batteries, you might just find a revitalized interest in going out.

(5) If you push yourself to go out even when you really don't want to, make certain that you check your negative attitude at the door or at least have a glass of vino before you leave the house or what's the point of going out?

(6) People can tell when you are somewhere you don't want to be and this is unappealing.

And if you are looking for a great chick flick, don't forget, One Fine Day with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney!

Here's what I know... What men like on a first date.

Do you ever wonder what you should and shouldn't do on a first date?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men like happy, smiling women. If you can't smile, don't go.

(2) Men like you to ask questions about them but nothing too probing, just light and fun.

(3) Men like girls who laugh at their jokes, so even if your guy isn't really funny, throw in a giggle every now and again.

(4) Guys like girls to flirt with their eyes. Try giving him a long stare eye to eye, it will captivate him.

(5) Guys don't like a girl who have 11 changes to her food order. It's okay to order dressing on the side, but other than that, suck it up. If you don't, he might give you a draconian kick to the curb!

(6) Guys like girls who say thank you after they pay the bill or as they are walking out of the restaurant; they want to feel appreciated.



Don't forget to check out the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 1o Days where Kate Hudson makes a lot of dating blunders!

Here's what I know... What men notice on a date.

Do you ever wonder what a guy notices on a date and what just goes over his head?

Here's what I know...

(1) He notices if you are nice to the waiter and he will like it if you are.

(2) He notices if you check your blackberry a half dozen times and/or takes unimportant calls during your time with him.

(3) He notices your energy- if you seem happy and if you have good, confident posture.

(4) He notices if you talk about yourself non-stop and never come up for air to ask about him.

(5) He notices if you are defensive about things in your life. If you feel particularly vulnerable or badly about the fact you lost your job, need to lose 15 pounds or have never been married, you need to come up with comfortable answers to those questions.

(6) He notices if you are fidgetting with your hair, looking around the room or picking your nails: these are all signs that you aren't really interested in him.



Don't forget to check out Yes, Man a funny dating movie!

Here's what I know...You need to have some basics if you are having a girl over to your home.

Do you ever wonder what are the girl staples you should have at your house if you are planning to have a girl over?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to have something there that a woman would drink, i.e., wine or vodka, not just moonshine and Tequila!

(2) You need to have at least one morsel of food to offer. (Keep a box of crackers in your cabinet or a bag of pretzels, something you can offer her.

(3) You need to have real cutlery and real dishes. If you are out of college, eating only with paper and plastic just doesn't cut it!

(4) You need to have kneenex and napkins. A lady does not like to blow her nose with toilet paper, nor does she like to use papertowels as napkins.

(5) Women like mood music, so even if you don't, you should have some if you are trying to get her in the mood.

(6) Women like candles. Candles are easy to buy, they sell them everywhere, so its very easy for you to have a few on hand in your home. You don't want to go overboard with the stinky ones but the ones that are pretty and make her feel romantic are perfect!

Remember that Friends episode when Ross cooked for Rachel the first time??

Here's what I know... Men again.... bad topics for a date.

As a man, do you feel that you constantly say and do things on dates that you think are okay, only to realize later on that what you said or did was an absolute "no no"?

Here's what I know...

(1) Bad topic- your ex and how much you hate her. You don't want the new woman to worry that you will bad mouth her in the same way sometime in the future.

(2) Bad topic- your mother and how much you hate her. Women use how a man treats his mom as a barometer for how he will treat her.

(3) Bad date topic- your obsession with any sports team in particular. Women know men love sports and they are okay with that, but they tend to shy away from the obsessed type.

(4) Bad topic-how much money you lost in the stock market. Women want security. This does not mean they are gold diggers, they just want to believe that if they end up with you that they will have a roof over their head.

(5) Bad date topic- how anti-social you are. It's okay if you are not a social butterfly, but no girl wants to date someone with social issues.

(6) Bad date topic- how much money you have. Women like guys who are successful, but they hate braggarts.

Check out Rusty on the ABC Family drama, Greek. He could use some of this advice!

Here's what I know... The kiss is key.

Do you ever wonder just how important the kiss is when you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) If you have an excellent kiss together, chances are, sex will be really good as well.

(2) Kissing is the best foreplay especially if you both are very into it.

(3) Girls like to kiss more than guys do, so if he wants to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you, be confident that he is very attracted to you.

(4) Some people kiss well immediately and some people have to perfect their kiss. It's like dancing, you have to find your rhythm with each person.

(5) If you are kissing a slobber king, and you feel like you need a shower on your face after every kiss, in a nice way, show him how nice it is not to lick faces, show him other things that are just as good. Be patient with him especially if you like him.

((6) If you think that you and your guy kiss okay, but not great, or if you want your kiss to get even hotter than it already is, try kissing in a private, yet not so private place. The danger element will surely heat things up.



If you haven't seen Hitch with Will Smith, you should go rent it now! Hysterical!