Here's what I know... Bad topics for a man to bring up on a date.

Did you ever wonder as a man what topics are off limits on a first date?

Here's what I know...

(1) Bad date topic- the specifics of what you do on your "guy's nights out". This is better left to their imagination and better left between you and your buddies.

(2) Bad date topic- how much weight your ex gained. You don't want your date to think you are a shallow jerk who will leave her when she gets pregnant, even if you are that shallow jerk.

(3) Bad date topic- how hot and sexy your ex was. You don't want your date, who might be very confident about her looks to start to second guessing her looks because thinks you are still obsessed with your ex.

(4) Bad date topic-How you think that you are going to get fired. Girls need to believe that if they end up with you, there will be a roof over her head and food on the table for the kiddies.

(5) Bad topic- how much kinky sex you are into. Most women will go with the flow in the sex category, once they are into you, however you don't want to scare them off on the first date.

(6) Bad date topic- any weird cheapnesses you have. She doesn't need to hear that you don't keep the heat on in 10 degree weather or that you go to your mom's to watch Entourage so you don't have to pay for HBO; she will find this out soon enough, no need to burst her bubble right away.

Here's what I know... Women love confident men!

Have you ever wondered how confident is too confident when you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love confident men!

(2) Women love take charge men.

(3) Women love men who make them feel like women!

(4) Women understand that you can't do the planning ALL the time, nor do they want you to do it all. However, women love the feel of a decision-making man. (Even if you are bad at decisions or a poor restaurant picker, in the beginning, a woman would rather you plan something than show up with no ideas and throw it to her!)

(5) Being confident is not about being bossy or being cocky or arrogant; none of those traits are appealing to women. Women are simply looking for a confident personality type and this comes from "your presence", your disposition and your attitude.

(6) April is the month of confident men, those Aries! So, girls if you love confident guys, find a guy who was born this month!

Here's what I know...Sometimes you just won't know what someone's actions mean.

Do you ever just feel stumped when it comes to deciphering a person's behaviour in the dating world?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story.

(2) No one is mind reader, so regardless of how many interations you come up with or how many ways you look at a situation, sometimes you just won't know the real truth.

(3) It's a waste of time to obsess over every little thing someone does and try to figure out what each thing in a vacuum means.

(4) Sometimes even the person who is doing the action doesn't actually know why they are doing it; sometimes they just act first, think later.

(5) Sometimes there is, in fact, an underlying message in how someone acts and sometimes there's not, you just won't be sure, unless the person says it to you directly. Sometimes it's better just to wait and see.

(6) Your mental psyche will take healthier if you have lower expectations about a certain situation. This way you might be pleasantly surprised, instead of disappointed.

And for some comic relief, check out one of my all time favorite "mindless entertainment" movies, Clueless with Alicia Silverstone.

Here's what I know... everyone has a "foot in the mouth" moment on a date.

Have you ever been on a date and something comes out of your mouth and you literally can't believe you said it?

Here's what I know...

(1) Everyone puts their foot in their mouth, a lot, when they are dating.

(2) You can always cover over a stupid comment with a giggle or a just kidding (the way you use LOL every two seconds in email) and hope for the best. If you have a killer smile or if you are a good flirter, the person sitting across the table will probably forgive your stupidity.

(3) Even if the first words out of your mouth as you greeted your blind date were " Hi, wow, you look tired", instead of what you meant to say that she looked great, you can still figure out a way to recover if you just are sweet at other parts of the night.

(4) Even if you told an ex girl friend that you are glad you dated her because it gives you "street cred" with other people, this still does not mean you are a hopeless dater, just a little insensitive at times.

(5) Even if you spent an hour talking about your ex when you swore you wouldn't even bring him up, you can recover, especially if the person sitting across the table likes you.

(6) People who are looking to meet someone great, tend NOT to judge someone on 1 lone stupid comment, they tend to take things "under advisement" and wait and see.

(7) Instead of harping on the stupid or bad thing you said, and instead of bringing it up again and again (because that only makes the person remember it all the more), more forward in the conversation confidently and let the person see the real and thoughtful you instead.

Here's what I know... These are the "right" ingredients for a long-lasting relationship.

Do you ever wonder what things are necessary things for a relationship to work?

Here's what I know...

(1) The ability to resolve conflict is key. You need to be able to discuss a circumstance with a person and work through it quickly, openly and move forward.

(2) You need to laugh at the same jokes and find the same things funny.

(3) The kiss is key. If your kiss is good, if you fell into a good kiss right away or were able to refine the kiss immediately and you can kiss for hours and send little tingles down the other person's spine with your kiss, then you are golden. Good kissing foreshadows good sex.

(4) Time needs to go by effortlessly, quickly and without noticing whenever you speak or see each other.

(5) You need to speak a silent language- this comes from having a similar sense of humor.

(6) You need to both be able to be self deprecating- give it as well as you can take it and be good-natured in that area.

(7) You need to trust each other and feel comfortable that the other one has your back and will always have your back.

Here's what I know... If you are in a bad mood, stay home.

Did you ever notice that when you go out on the town and you are in a bad mood, your night is a bust?

Here's what I know...

(1) People gravitate towards happy people, not miserable sourpusses so if you can't get rid of the sourpuss, stay home.

(2) No one wants to hear your tales of woe; everyone has their own Bernie Madoff story, no one wants to get depressed by yours.

(3) Men know that women get their period once a month, but they certainly don't want to hear about the fact that you have it now and it's put you in a bad mood. This is poor judgment on your part and just icky.

(4) If you are in a bad mood when you are out, no one will want to be around you because they can feel it. Trust me, they can.

(5) A bad mood rises to your eyes. If your eyes can't, then the smile on your face doesn't matter.

(6) It's okay to have a night of downtime; it might re-energize you for next time!

Here's what I know... If he stopped calling you over something little, then he wasn't yours anyway.

How many times have you obsessed over the littlest thing that you did in your relationship, thinking that your one small action was the reason for it's demise?

Here's what I know...

(1) Guys don't break up with girls over little things.

(2) Once a guy decides he is attracted to you, he won't break up with you over something that only you notice- that one pimple you got on a Tuesday or the fact that you wore a bra that didn't make your boobs look as big as they usually do.

(3) Guys don't pay attention to how many "xo's" you put at the end of your text message and he certainly won't break up with you over that.

(4) Guys read emails very quickly and they don't labor over every word you wrote and what you meant by them, the way girls do. Absent your writing something really awful, he is not going to break-up with you because of your LOL or because you had too many typos.

(5) It is natural to question the last little thing you did with a guy if he ends things with you and you are not sure why. However, to find out what really went wrong, you need to dig deeper and look at the full picture and the patterns of behaviour.

(6) When you are dating someone, it's more important to learn the things that would bother HIM, not obsess about the things that would bother you that don't even register on his "notice" meter. (Example: he won't notice if the smiley face in your text was a full smile or a wink, but he will notice if you need to have a "relationship conversation" by email during work hours, when he is in his office!

Here's what I know... You should be able to "agree to disagree" if you want to be together.

Have you ever gotten into a situation with the person you are dating where you just cannot come to terms?

Here's what I know...

(1)Sometimes two people have opposing viewpoints on a subject and just cannot agree.

(2) If you care about someone, you should give them the space to have his or her own opinion and for you to have yours.

(3) Sometimes a disagreement can be healthy for a relationship as long as you can move by it.

(4) Two people will never agree on everything and this can add dimensionality to your relationship.

(5) If you have a disagreement and you cannot come to terms, you need to think about whether you can respect the other person's point of view although you don't agree w it.

(6) Perhaps you can learn something from your partner's differing viewpoint. Take a step back and try to understand how they are looking at things.

Here's what I know... You need to be with someone who loves "the real you."

Have you ever wondered why you would put yourself in a circumstance where you are apologizing for just being you?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are pretty damn great. You need to find that person who understands that.

(2) You need to be with someone who loves all that you are and all that you are not. Marlene told me that and it's very important.

(3) If someone is questioning who you are, have you ever stopped and asked, who are they?

(4) If you are asking why you are compromising yourself, then you are in the wrong situation.

(5) If you constantly need to hide the real you, then you aren't in the right situation.

(6) If you know deep down that you are trying to fit a square peg in to a round hole, take a step back and don't do it. Do you real want to take all this time to pick someone, only to then get divorced?

Here's what I know... The "trolling the party" guy is not ready for a real relationship.

Did you ever wonder why a guy who says he wants to be in a relationship spends more time trolling parties than trying to work on having a relationship?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to take time to be in a relationship and make it work.

(2) If you want to be in a relationship, you will be willing to give up a trolling night to be with a girl you like.

(3) If a guy is not willing to give up the trolling night, chances are, he is not into you enough to forego it.

(4) A guy might say that he trolls parties because he really wants to meet someone but there is a difference between hitting the occasional party and going to the opening of an envelope!

(5) Some guys troll for sport and because it's a game to them and others troll because they think it is a necessity. Either way, do you really want to be with that guy?

(6) You have been in situations before where when a guy is crazy about you, he drops everything and can't get enough of you. If the trolling guy can't do this, it's time for another guy.

Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.

Have you ever watched in wonderment as one of your female friends crosses the line with the guy you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to be honest with yourself and decide if you are an overly jealous and sensitive person or if it is obvious that your friend is crossing the line.

(2) It would be appropriate for your friend to say hello to him at a party and having a 2 to 5 minute conversation with him. It would be inappropriate for her to corner him for 30 minutes with her "come hither" eyes batting away.

(3) It would be appropriate for her to include him on a group email or an email to both of you. It would be inappropriate for her to email him directly and asking him a question about the two of you that she could have just as easily asked you directly.

(4) It would be appropriate for her to let him buy her a drink. It would be inappropriate for her to assume that she is "his second girlfriend" and that he will buy her dinner every time you all go out.

(5) If you do have a friend who is crossing the line in this area, you need to think about whether she is really your friend, your frenemy or just after your guy.

(6) If you think that your friend is crossing the line and you are not certain that she is doing it on purpose, have a conversation with her. She might learn something about proper behaviour and you might save a friendship.

Here's what I know... there is a lid for every pot

Do you ever feel like what you are looking for in a relationship is so much deeper than what most people can handle?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are not alone; many people feel like there are very few people who really understand them.

(2) There are people out there that want to have a very deep relationship, you just need to keep on the look out for them and not settle for someone who isn't of your caliber.

(3) It usually takes a person who has had some drama, loss or difficulties in their life to make someone want to have a deeper relationship. If you are dating Mr Happy Go Lucky, it is probably going to be difficult to get him to understand you.

(4) Not everyone is for everyone. You need to find who is right for you, not obsess over who isn't.

(5) You need to make room for the possibility that someone can catch up to you in desiring a deep relationship; you just need to give them the time and the space to try.

(6) You need to be open to understanding someone else's definition of a deep relationship and see if perhaps the two of you can find a happy medium.

Here's what I know... Girls still want a polite and gallant guy.

Have you been wondering if chivalry is dead?

Here's what I know...

1. Polite is polite- you don't have to be over the top like standing up every time she goes to the bathroom, but basic politeness goes a long way.

2. Girls notice if you open her car door for her or just head straight to the driver's side.

3. Girls notice if you allow her to go through the door to a restaurant first or if you plow through.

4. Girls notice if you buy a drink for her friend as well as her when you are trying to impress her.

5. Girls notice if you offer to go with her to help her get her towed car instead of just saying good luck.

6. There are men out there who are still very chivalrous- girls notice them, remember them and like them. Why not be one of those guys?

Here's what I know.. You need to marry "a man."

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wish he could step up and be a man?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.

(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.

(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.

(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.

(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.

(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.

Here's what I know...The "break-it off conversation" is difficult.

Did you ever notice that a "break if off" conversation never goes the way you want it to?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story and during a break it off conversation those sides are usually very different.

(2) It is very difficult to not get defensive during a conversation of this nature and if you did get defensive, you shouldn't feel badly, the other person knows why you acted that way.

(3) If you wanted to say that you were sorry and to ask nicely for a second chance and you didn't because your pride got in the way, you can always say that now. If you were with a good person,they should be willing to listen.

(4) Break ups are very rarely final the first time around. If someone cared about you enough to be in it with you and then to break it off with you instead of just blowing you off, then that person should be willing to explore, at least once, if there is still something there or if there is a way to rectify, simplify or alter things.

(5) Even if your feelings got hurt by the person's honesty and you had that "stinging" feeling, try to learn from what they said and effect positive change in your life.

(6) If you think there was a miscommunication or you were judged unfairly or incorrectly, re-open the dialogue and calmly try to explain how you are feeling. If you were with a good person, they should be willing to listen and explore.

(7) If someone cuts you off at the knees and gives you no wiggle room at all, you should be wondering about their ability to connect and their desire to be in a good and communicative relationship because no one's perfect and those that can't realize that all humans have some flaws will go out on hundreds of date and have trouble ending up with someone long term.

PS- Maybe go rent The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston, so you can add a little comic relief to the situation!

Here's what I know... Slow and steady wins the race.

Didn't you used to think that the only person you could fall in love with was the person who you have this instantaneous, "I need to see you every minute of every day" attraction to?

Here's what I know...

(1) Relationships that start off fast and furiously almost always crash and burn.

(2) Slow and steady relationships might just be slow and steady, but if you think about all the time you have wasted dating people who are wrong for you, isn't it worth it to give time to a slow and steady one that has real potential?

(3) Fast and furious relationships almost always have a sexual component too quickly. Sex should be sacred, especially with the person you are going to marry. It's okay if you wait a bit to do it. And it's a good sign if both people think that way.

(4) Most married people you will talk to will tell you that the dating they did with their spouse was different from any other relationship they had ever had. Most will tell you that they weren't exactly sure in the beginning, but there were ingredients there that made them stick around and build something substantial.

(5) If someone is crazy about you and thinks you are terrific before they know you are terrific, you should be suspicious.

(6) Fast and furious relationships go full speed ahead without looking at if two people have the building blocks for a solid relationship- respect for each other, laughter, similar intelligence and similar values. Then once the excitement wears off a bit, most people will realize that those key ingredients were not there, and the relationship will crash and burn.

(7) A slow and steady relationship should not scare you, it should excite you. There is something to be said for a relationship that stays its course and where you learn something new and different about the person all the time. It takes time to build the right relationship.

Here's what I know... If you get invited, you go!

Do you sometimes feel like you would rather just sit home alone and watch TV, rather than be disappointed in a social setting yet again?

Here's what I know...

(1) My grandmother always told me that "if you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These words are on the second page of my book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster) and are words to live by.

(2) If you think about it, each time you actually do leave the house, something does happen. You might not meet the man of your dreams or your wife but you might run into an old friend, make a new and interesting business contact, or just have a good laugh.

(3) If you do leave the house, make sure you do it with positive energy; otherwise you are sabotaging things before you even leave.

(4) Pick chatty, outgoing people with whom to surround yourself. These people are connectors, and they attract people in their direction; you will reap the benefits.

(5) Keep in mind that every day is different. The last four Friday nights might have been busts, but this does not necessarily mean that this Friday night will be.

(6)Let's say tonight is the night that you are going to meet "your" guy. How are you going to meet him if you don't leave the house?

(7) Get excited about the idea of possibilities. Unpredictability is what keeps life exciting!

Here's what I know...You should feel good about the relationship you are in.

Have you been thinking to yourself that there is no way that your dating situation should be making you feel so down in the dumps?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you are dating someone, you should not have to negotiate phone time or face time. They should not be able to get enough of you, all the time. And visa versa.

(2) When you are dating someone, they should want to do little sweet things for you, this might things that are as simple as planning a fun night, sending you a sweet text message or bring you one Hershey kiss but there needs to be that desire to make you feel happy and loved. And visa versa.

(3) When you are dating someone, they should want to show you off to everyone and should not have excuses as to why you can't come places all the time. And visa versa.

(4) When you are dating someone, speaking of the future, whether it's next weekend or next year should not cause a panic or a fight.

(5) When you are dating someone and you have reached "that point", you should be having sex and a lot of it. If there are excuses in this category, there is a problem.

(6) When you are dating someone, they should constantly be finding you to to be so funny, so witty and so attractive. If they don't, it's just a matter of time before they end it. And visa versa.

Here's what I know...If you have to ask if your relationship is working, you know the answer.

Have you ever noticed that when you know deep down that a dating situation is not working out that it always turns out that you are right?

Here's what I know...

(1) Deep down, we all know how it feels when things are not working. The key is to listen to what you know and walk away when you know the truth.

(2) Relationships are work but they shouldn't be a full time job. If things are harder than they are easy, it's time to look elsewhere.

(3) If you spent all last night looking for that one friend who will dissect your current dating situation exactly the way you want it to be because all your other friends have told you he's a jerk, you need to ditch the lying friend and trust your real friends because they are only looking out for your best interests.

(4) You need to access the deep recesses of your brain and remember a time when you were in a relationship that was working- how happy you were, how loved you felt, how easy it was- and then if you are not having these same feelings now, move on.

(5) It's not just women who have good intuition, it's people. If you know deep down that you are just make excuses for this person and for this pathetic situation you are calling your relationship, phone a friend, get some Ben and Jerry's and say Hasta La Vista, baby!

(6) You deserve to be with someone who loves you, respects you and wants to spend lots of time with you. If you are not getting these most basic things, it's time to go a' fishin!

Here's what I know... People will sacrifice everything to get their chance at love

Did you watch the Bachelor last night and wonder in disbelief why Jason would allow everyone in the world to think he is a jerk and why Molly would take Jason back after everything, in the end?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women want the fairytale and the dream and are willing to endure anything ,even their Prince turning into a world class jerk on national TV.

2) Women will forget that a guy broke up with them or treated them crappy when the guy comes back and says the words she was waiting to hear... "I love you" and "I want to be with you." (Molly, like any woman, went to sleep every night for the 6 weeks after her rejection by Jason praying that she would wake up from this nightmare and be back to when Jason loved her and didn't pick Melissa over her. She then arrived to the "After the Rose" episode and got her wish, so of course she said yes right away.)

3) Women don't care as much about their pride as men do. They will even be humiliated on national TV, if it means getting their man.

(4) It was okay that Jason realized that he wants to be with Molly but what was really crappy was that he had to do the breakup w Melissa on TV. Why?

(5) Even men get caught up in the idea of marriage or why else would Jason had proposed at the final rose ceremony instead of just saying in a an "unprecedented Bachelor moment" that he had genuine feelings for both and wanted to continue to date them each one and come to the "After the Final Rose" show 6 weeks later and pick his bride?

(6) It is possible to be in love with two people at the same time for different reasons however in the end you need to listen to your heart when picking "the One."