How to Date a Wall Street Man

(republished from CNBC blog 2012)

Published: Tuesday, 7 Feb 2012 | 1:14 PM ET

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By: Samantha Daniels
Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert, Founder and President of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking

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As a professional matchmaker with an office in New York City, many of my clients are very successful, high profile Wall Street men.

I have spent the better part of 12 years learning all of their habits, their likes and dislikes when it comes to dating, women and relationships and what they want specifically from me, when I am matching them with women.

Hence, I know, better than anyone, what makes Wall Street men tick.

Here are a few tips for the women out there who are dating or would like to be dating a man on Wall Street:

1. Be prepared to charm him out of talking about work when he first arrives to the date. Unfortunately, a lot of guys on Wall Street have a hard time leaving work at the office; it’s your job to get his mind on you and off theS & P.

2. Learn a little something about the financial markets and notice if something huge happens on a given day, negative or positive. Things like the fact that Facebook is going public is not just financial news, it’s world news and you don’t want to seem clueless if you completely missed something like that. You don’t have to become an expert but at least if you know something you can participate in a conversation with your guy. Additionally, you need to be prepared that the volatility of the markets might make your guy’s mood unpredictable, especially on a day that his personal portfolio went down dramatically.

3. While a Wall Street man tends to like a little bit of a challenge when it comes to dating, he still likes things to be convenient and easy for him. A lot of women think that if they play hard to get, they will land a Wall Street man. This is NOT the case. Yes, you should be confident and avoid being a pushover but, at the same time, you shouldn’t be difficult. You need to be accommodating or his schedule and time constraints or he will get frustrated and find another woman.

4. Tell stories that are short and sweet because the mind of a Wall Street man is always moving so rapidly and focusing on so many different things that his attention span for social stories is very short; don’t be insulted by this, just tell your stories in a way that he can listen. Save your long, draw-out stories for chit-chatting with your girlfriends.

Samantha Daniels Professional Matchmaker
Samantha's Table

5. Be sexy. Wall Street men tend to like women who are attractive and that other men notice when they walk in the room. This does not mean that you should look sleazy or inappropriate, this just means that you should bring your “A game” when you go out with him, whatever that is. Every man is attracted to a different look and a different type of woman so if he’s interested in you, he’s attracted to you but you need to maintain his interest by continuing to look your best.

6. Don’t get upset if he checks his BlackBerry or takes a call during a date; this is very common of a Wall Street man and has nothing to do with whether or not he likes you. The advice that I give Wall Street men about their need to bring business onto the date is that they should forewarn you when they first sit down that a call or a message is coming and apologize in advance.  Albeit the fact that this would be an easy thing to do, they won’t always remember to do it, so don’t get offended.

7. Don’t get upset if your Wall Street guy isn’t as romantic as you would like him to be. Men, by nature are never as romantic as women want them to be, but Wall Street men especially are very business-like and think practically not romantically. If you want him to be more romantic, you are probably going to have to lead the way, and teach him what you want.

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8. Wall Street men tend to be attracted to women who are in industries other than Wall Street. This does not mean that if you work on Wall Street, you won’t end up with a Wall Street man, however his eye tends to be looking towards non-Wall Street women. Hence, if you are a Wall Street woman and you are interested in dating a Wall Street man, you need to make sure that you let him and others see that you are not all business all the time, that you have a soft, feminine, family-oriented and fun side when you are not in the office.

9. When it comes to getting you a gift, a lot of Wall Street men are all about extravagance over thoughtfulness. If you are a decadent woman, this will work well for you, but if you are a woman who prefers a man to be thoughtful over spending lavishly on something you don’t really want, you might be disappointed. This does not mean that a Wall Street man can’t be thoughtful, many are. However, a lot of Wall Street men are so busy making lots of money, that when they think to buy you something, they don’t care about the cost as long as it’s easy to get for you.

10. Don’t get upset if your plans get scheduled by his assistant. Even though, it is dating 101 for a man to pick up the phone and call you for a date or in this day and age to text you for one, many Wall Street men are so reliant on their assistants that they prefer to have you on their schedule just like a business meeting. Do not take offense to this; this does not mean that he likes you all the less, it just means that he likes to be organized and efficient and his assistant helps him accomplish this.

________________________
Samantha Daniels owns a bicoastal matchmaking service called Samantha's Table. She is ivy league educated and a former divorce attorney by trade. She is frequently relied upon dating, relationship and romance expert, and is seen regularly on television, in national newspapers and magazines and on radio. She has been a national spokesperson for a number of consumer brands including Crest, Oral B and Febreze. She was also the inspiration for and a producer on the NBC/Darren Star dramedy, Miss Match starring Alicia Silverstone, the show was based on her life story. She is the author of the book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon &  Schuster).

© 2012 CNBC.com

Celebuzz- Katy Perry needs to jump right back into Dating

Exclusive: Matchmaker Says Katy Perry ‘Needs to Jump Right Back into Dating’

2 hours ago

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Following a whirlwind romance and marriage, Russell Brand filed for divorce from singer Katy Perry ending their 14 month marriage, but it seems Katy isn’t sitting around feeling sorry for herself. Just days after the announcement, Katy was reportedly partying the night away with friends at LA’s Soho House — and chatting up a few guys at the exclusive hotspot!

Although Katy appears to be moving on quickly, celebrity matchmaker Samantha Daniels believes the “Fireworks” singer needs to move on and immediately jump back into the dating game. “I always think it’s good to jump right back into dating so that a newly single person can realize that there are other people out there to be with, when the time is right,” Daniels told Celebuzz.

What advice would you give Katy, if she came to you looking for love?

“I would say, ‘Think about being with someone who is outside of the entertainment industry but who is successful in his own right as well.’ Sometimes when two people are in the spotlight, there is too much competition; it might be better to choose a lower-key man who will be happy letting her get all the attention… She needs a non-celebrity, successful man who is secure in himself and is happy to let her have the spotlight. He would be very mature to ground her a bit, and he would also be protective of her so she will feel loved.”

KATY PERRY & RUSSELL BRAND PDA PICS

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From what you can tell, why didn’t she and Russell Brand work out? 
“Perhaps their personalities were too similar, and they both needed too much attention. Additionally, they didn’t know each other very long before they got married so they didn’t really have the time to learn about each other and grow the relationship together.”

What can Katy learn from her marriage to take into her new dating life?

“Relationships are hard work, so you need to really focus and make it a priority regardless of what is going on in one’s career. Sometimes it’s better to take things slowly so you can figure out what really works. A good relationship rule of the thumb is to be with someone all four seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall) before you decide if the relationship is for keeps.”

Overall in your business, what is the #1 dating mistake women make when re-entering the dating world?
They jump into the first relationship that comes their way because they don’t want to be alone instead of taking the time to date, get to know people and choose the “right one.”

Samantha Daniels is a Celebrity Matchmaker and the president and founder of the bicoastal company,Samantha’s Table Matchmaking.

Samantha's Event Pick- Macallan Tasting

Macallan Private Tasting

Many posh people are true whisky snobs and those "in the know" drinkers choose Macallan and only Macallan as their whisky of choice. I got the real privilege of attending a private Macallan tasting and food pairing and now I think I understand what all the hoopla is about. Not only did we taste endless 12, 15, 17 even Macallan 18, but we were reveled with whisky stories and whisky education by their brand ambassador. My favorite factoid of the evening, a bottle of 1926 vintage Macallan was sold at a Christies auction for $54,000 which is the highest selling liquor ever at auction! If you can find a way to snag an invitation to one of their events, definitely clear your calendar!

Samantha's Dating Ponder-How Do You Know When Your Relationship is Exclusive?

There comes a crossroads in every relationship when it is time to make things exclusive; just you and your partner. How do you make that move though? It is a bold and often scary step, especially for men, to commit to just one relationship. In order to set the record straight with out any awkwardness, you need to communicate with each other. It may happen one day when one of you plans it out or it may just be a sudden urge you feel when you look at someone and realize you really care about them and don't want them seeing anyone else. Be careful not to assume that just because you have stopped seeing other people does not mean that your partner has stopped seeing other people, which is why the exclusivity of your relationship needs to be communicated. Don't rush it; if things have been going well for a month or two, then  go ahead and bring it up when you feel comfortable. If talked about too soon, you may ruin whatever budding relationship is forming and scare your partner away. As long as you communicate and take things nice and easy, you will avoid any awkward conversations and get what you really want out of your new relationship.

Samantha's Dating Ponder-How Would You Define Dating?

Often times I will hear people say "I used to date him/her, " but what do they mean by this phrase? Did they go on a few dates with that person a long time ago or were they actually  "boyfriend/girlfriend"? How do you define dating? Many people seem to think that if they went on a few dates with someone, they dated them and then if they were more serious and spent more concentrated time, they were boyfriend, girlfriend. However, to me, I think that if you went out a few times with someone then you went "on a few dates with them" and if you dated someone that means you had "something" real with them, they were a special someone to you. I guess it's semantics but I would find it odd if a guy with whom I went on one date told people we dated. Don't you agree? What's your definition of dating??

Samantha's Dating Ponder-Shedding for the Wedding

Every bride dreams of their wedding day; the perfect venue, the perfect hair, the perfect dress. Even grooms envision their big day and happily ever after. And more often than not, people go on crazy diets to fit into the perfect dress/tux. They go on crash diets, eat unusual foods and start to act and do things they wouldn't normally do. How do these new behaviors effect the big day? What do we really think of "shedding for the wedding?"  The new tendencies could carry into the new marriage and then the person your partner with whom you fell in love could be completely different. It is important to stay true to yourself so that your marriage and love will flourish. Even though you may be trying to shed for the one big day, make sure you don't shed your true emotions and personality in the process.

How to tell if your man will leave you

Relationships are a little prickly. Some days things are great and other days, you feel like your relationship is going to end imminently. Sometimes you feel like you are the luckiest person alive because you have finally found your soulmate and other days, you find yourself wondering what you ever saw in him in the first place. However, setting your own feelings of sometime indecision aside, do you ever find yourself obsessing over what he is thinking? Wondering if he is truly happy in the relationship or if he might just up and leave you for a shinier, brighter, newer model?

I am a professional matchmaker and here are some things to consider if you are trying to figure out if he is around for the long-haul or angling to jump ship as soon as he has the opportunity:

-A woman's intuition is very strong and often times correct; if you sense he is walking towards the door, he probably is thinking about it.

-You need to watch for signs that he is in it for the long haul. Does he call you his girlfriend? Do you operate like a single unit? Is there an "us" mentality or a "me" mentality?

-You need to notice how he acts with you with regard to his friends. Does he bring you around them a lot, does he talk about you to them? Does he brag about you to them? These are all good signs. Or do they barely know your name?

-You need to notice how he acts
with you with regard to his family. Would he/does he stick up for you with his family? Does he talk about you with pride and admiration to his family? Have you even met his family?

-You need to notice if he gets nervous and apologetic when the two of you fightand you threaten to break up with him or if he seems relieved that you are going to end it.

-You need to notice if he sticks around when the chips are down like if you are having a bad day, you lose your job, you are sick, you have a big issue with your family, etc. You need to notice if he is willing to put aside his life when you need him the most.

-You need to notice how he interacts with other women. He wouldn't be a man if he didn't notice other women occasionally, but you need to notice how he is noticing other women. Does he look at them with a look of longing or does he just notice them in passing before his attention comes right back to you?

-You need to notice if he defends you to others and is on your side with most things or do you feel like he is constantly your enemy and always against you?

-You need to notice if he is willing to do things you want to do that he doesn't really want to do. Men are only willing to set aside what they want if they are very into you, otherwise, they just do what they want and don't care how you feel about it.

Samantha's Dating Thought-Add More Fun to Date Night!

Tired of the same old date night at a local restaurant? Well, head to a comedy club instead! Whether you prefer improvisations or stand-up comedy, there is something for all personalities to enjoy. Comedy clubs usually serve dinner and can provide a more intimate setting between you and your beau because you will be sharing many laughs and whispering about how funny the performances are. If you want to plan ahead, do some research and see when your favorite comedians are in town. Most comedy clubs feature large tables so gather your old friends to share a great time had by all! You and your honey will be sure to remember all the laughs you shared which, in turn, will strengthen your relationship and improve your bond with each other.

Samantha's Dating Ponder-For Better or For Worse?

The two of you have been in a relationship for an extended period of time. The love is definitely there. So will getting married after a long term relationship change things for the better or for the worse? It is important for couples who have been together for so long to discuss the way their relationship is and how it may change once they walk down the aisle. Important topics such as money, kids and family should be discussed. And make sure to keep the sex alive once you say "I do!"

One celebrity couple finally decided to take the plunge this week. Six years and six kids later, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally decided to tie the knot. Many sources say the two finally decided to start planning a wedding now that the kids are older and keep asking them about marriage. But will it work? What do you think? Will Brad and Angelina's perfect Hollywood family finally be complete?

Samantha's Dating Tips-Meeting Your Boyfriend's Ex

Have you ever wondered how it will be, if and when, you meet your boyfriend's ex? Have you wondered the right things to say, the right things to do and how to act?
I am a Professional Matchmaker and here's what I know...
1. You can be nice. Keep in mind that you have him right now, she doesn't, so there is no reason to be snippy.

2. Sizing her up will get you nowhere. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for chemistry. If you are scratching your head in disbelief that he was into her and now he's into you, don't bother, you will never be able to figure it out.

3. Don't do the old contrast and compare because chances are, this will just make you feel insecure. Just feel confident about who you are and the connection that the two of you are having in the present.

4. If you feel a little jealousy about his connection to her or the fact that another woman knows him as well as you do, that's okay. Feeling jealous and/or insecure is natural, but don't let it send you into a funk and just ride out the evening; it will end soon enough.

5.Be prepared for some reminiscing
and some inside jokes. This does not mean that they have a more special bond than the two of you have; it just means that when they were together, they did have some fun times and are bound to talk about them.

6. Don't get thrown if she is a little snide or tries to act like she knows more about him than you do. Keep in mind that if she dated him for a long time or a longer time than you have, she might in fact know more about him than you do. However, this doesn't matter because you are with him now and as you go forward in the relationship, you will have plenty of time to learn all the things she knows about him and then some.

7. If you are seeing her at an event where your guy's friends might be in attendance, don't get upset if they know her and are nice to her at the party. This does not mean they like her better than you, it just means that they know her and are being courteous.

8. Don't get upset if your boyfriend acts a little weird or odd or different in the situation. Keep in mind that it is very awkward for him to be standing with the girl with whom he is currently having sex and the one with whom he used to have sex.

9. Don't dwell on the situation afterwards or pick a fight. There is no reason to let her affect your current situation with him. The evening has already passed; let bygones be bygones.

10. After seeing them together, if you have any real doubts about whether or not it is truly over between them and/or whether or not, something between the two of you is genuine, make sure to have this discussion with him in a calm and more casual manner. You don't want it to blow up in your face just because you are feeling a little insecure or jealous.

Samantha's Product Pick-Replace your wallet

The Callet

We've all done it before, shoving our cash and cards in the back of our phone case to the point where the case doesn't even fit on your phone anymore. But now, you can have your whole life in your hand, without the annoyance of a bulging phone. The Callet is a phone cover and wallet, all in one! It has been strategically engineered to take up a minimal amount of space when you're out on the town so you don't have to carry around such a bulky phone. The specially designed slots are perfect for your cash and credit cards and come in different colors for both iPhone and Blackberry models. So pick up this product, it is perfect the gym, shopping or a night out!

Samantha's Product Pick-Blast that Blemish!

Peter Thomas Roth Acne Spot and Blemish Treatment

You come home from work and start getting ready for your hot date. You finally find the perfect outfit and head to the mirror to apply your make-up when BAM, there is one blemish staring at you in the face. So, you immediately start stressing and picking away at the blemish, only making it worse. Instead, take a breather and put on Peter Thomas Roth's spot treatment cream. The unique treatment is formulated with the perfect ingredients to act fast and zap away that zit. It is perfect for use as a spot treatment for a single blemish or can be used to treat larger problem areas. Either way, this product should work very quickly, leaving you ready and stress-free for your hot date!

Samantha's Product Pick-- Hair Quick Fix

Tresemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo

Expert stylists say it is not healthy to wash your hair everyday but sometimes, your hair just needs a little something something! Don't you always seem to have the greasiest hair after a long day of work before your hot date? And of course, there is no time to shower and restyle your hair before hitting the town. Your quick fix? Dry Shampoo. I have tried many but Tresemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo is definitely my favorite. You get the most product for your money and it can be found in almost any drug store for as cheap as $5! Next time you find yourself stressing before a night out, don't fret. Just make sure to pick up the can made specifically for your hair type and your hair will look rejuvenated and voluminous in no time at all!

Samantha's Dating Ponder-How Sexy is Too Sexy?

How sexy is too sexy? Women often think that men think women are most attractive when they are wearing skimpy and revealing clothing. However, this is not the case. Sometimes men will turn the other cheek if women are wearing something too sexy. "Too sexy" means a low cut and cleavage revealing shirt paired with an extremely tight and tiny mini skirt at the same time.  You will give off the vibe that you are too easy even if you are far from it. Men like to play games, especially guessing ones. So, wear a tight fitting dress but maybe one that isn't so low cut so they can guess what is underneath. Or match a flowy top with a pair of tight pants. Men are more likely to undress you with their eyes when you are revealing just one part of your body, like your legs or your back. Keep in mind that trying to make every part of you look sexy will just have the effect of looking sleazy. So, save the red leather mini skirt for a Halloween costume and leave something for the imagination! And when you get dressed for a night on the town, spend some time really thinking about how sexy is too sexy and alter your outfit before you leave the house.

Samantha's Dating Thought-How Mixed Signals Can Ruin a Budding Romance

New romances can be tough for many reasons. For one, you may feel a little shy in the beginning  and may not communicate your thoughts and feelings quite as well as you would like. Your new beau may think you're content when you're not or think that you are not interested when you are. Communication is key. There is nothing wrong with letting someone know how you feel because if you don't you could unintentionally send mixed signals and that could ruin  your relationship. You don't want your partner to think that your interest level is at a zero when it's at a 100, do you? Additionally, if you are not ready to get intimate yet with your new flame, steer clear of any sayings or flirty texts that might make it seem like you are, so that your beau doesn't think you are ready to get it on when you are not.  You don't want someone you like to get discouraged for the wrong reasons.  It is  important  to express how you really feel and tell your partner and it's okay to tell him or her that you want to take things slowly, so that things will last. Your honey will appreciate your honesty and in turn fall for you all the more!

Samantha's Dating Thought-Keep the Love Alive

The honeymoon phase in a relationship is always the best time; you and your new flame really open up and get to know each other, enjoy spending all of your time together and rarely get into any altercations. However, it unfortunately doesn't always last. Once couples start dating for the long haul, they can sometimes hit a rough patch. Here are a few tricks to avoid that and keep your marriage or long-term relationship alive:

1.  Romance your honey like you just started dating. Romancing your partner gives you the chance to show him/her how special they are to you. Do something subtle like leave a post-it note in the morning before work simply saying "I love you" or cook their favorite meal. They will be sure to feel appreciated and loved.

2. Make time. Whether you have been together for two years or 20 years, it can be hard to take time out of your busy schedule. However, this is a crucial part of keeping the love alive. Schedule weekly date nights; even if you can't make date night a night out, stay in together and do some of your favorite activities together. Most importantly, always make time to be intimate!

3. Take on new activities. Learning new things together is always a great way to bond with someone special. Take a ballroom dancing class, enroll in a cooking class or photography class. Whatever it is, make sure the two of you agree so you can really enjoy the experience.

4. Pretend that you
just met each other. If you and your beau act like you are still in the honeymoon phase, you will always be excited when you go out on dates. If you ask each other new questions, keep the conversations flowing and continue to open up to each other, you will never get bored.

5. Compliment each other. Compliments always make someone feel extra special, especially in public. Tell the cashier how he/she is the best chef you ever met or introduce your honey as the funniest person in the world. It will really boost their confidence and their love for you, making them feel extra sexy and wanting to get intimate with you when you're not in public anymore.

Samantha's Dating Ponder-Do "Friends With Benefits" Relationships Actually Work?

If you haven't tried it, the thought has at least crossed your mind about being "friends with benefits" with one of your closest friends of the opposite sex. We have seen it played out in numerous romantic comedies and they always seem to end in a happily ever after. Is that really how it ends in real life? Do friendships become ruined after this? A recent study found that 74 percent of "friends with benefits" relationships don't destroy the friendship that was previously had. Even further, some of these relationships even unfold into stonger, real romantic relationships. After all, you are already so close with the person that it is easy to start something romantic. What do you think? Have you ever tried being friends with benefits with a close friend? How did it end up?

Samantha's Dating Ponder-Do Different Hobbies Make or Break a Relationship?

It is very rare that you will find someone who has the same exact hobbies that you do. Women love to watch sports just as much as men love to shop. However, different hobbies don't have to ruin your relationship! Being in a relationship is all about compromising and sometimes doing things with your partner even though you may not want to. So, take turns! One weekend you can go to your guy's favorite sporting event and the next weekend you can hit the mall together to pick up that new outfit you've had your eye on. It is important to acknowledge your honey's hobbies and if it is something you really do not want to be apart of, reassure your beau how much you care about them but that it's fune for him to go to the batting cage with the guys or to the newest chick flick with the girls. Sometimes alone time or time with friends will make your together time all the more special. And, as you spend more time with someone, you will find yourself even enjoying some of their hobbies that you might never have enjoyed before!

Samantha's Fall Couple Check-in

Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum

All of America watched as finalist J.P got down on one knee and proposed to most recent bachelorette Ashley. She happily accepted and the couple seemed nothing but smitten with each other. Now that the show is over and the couple can finally be out in public together, they still seem very much in love. They have been spotted in New York City where J.P. lives and plan to move into a new apartment together soon after Ashley finishes up dental school in just a couple of weeks. This duo seems to be really going against "the curse" of The Bachelor/Bachelorette series and are truly in love with each other. They plan to get married in 2012 and have already picked out their Neil Lane wedding bands. Congratulations to this amazing couple!

Samantha's Dating Thought-Soak Up the Sun

Sadly, the summer is almost over and the beautiful and sunny weather will be gone before you know it. That's why you should make the most of the time that is left and go on some outdoor dates with a long-time beau or a new flame. Summer is a great time for dating because you look healthy and feel great. Outdoor dates are a ton of fun because they are exciting. Some of the most fun outdoor dates during the summer are in the water. You can have a casual day and rent a boat and share a nice picnic with your favorite foods. If you decide to get a little adventurous, learn a new water sport together! Rent some waterskis or jetskis and you and your date will both have a great time. Teaching each other how to jetski or waterski will leave you smiling all day because you are both guaranteed to have some clumsy moments. So get out there, soak up some sun and enjoy the rest of summer with someone you really care about!