Is Courtship Dead?

The cover story for this weekend’s New York Times Style Section asked readers if traditional dating rituals have all but died  amongst today’s younger generations. Is dinner and a movie, where the man picks up the bill, a relic of the past? 

Has texting made dating more casual?

Amongst today’s twenty-somethings, casual hookups and group hangouts have replaced the old traditions of dating. This change is the product of several cultural transformations, including the advent of the email and text (which are less formal and require less courage than a phone call), the rise of online dating services (which mean singles have more dating options than ever before), and changing economic dynamics between guys and gals (many women are earning more than their male counterparts). 

If this phenomenon concerns you, here's three tips:

1. Make it clear to your suitor that you won’t accept anything less than a proper date.

2. If you must  go out on a group date, try to steal your guy away from the crowd for some personal one-on-one time.

3. Suggest a less expensive date, like a movie and an ice cream instead of a full-blown dinner.  

New Year's Resolutions To Help Your Relationship

It's a New Year! Now, it's time to think about if your relationship progressed as you wanted it to in 2012. Are you where you want to be with your partner? Or, did 2012 fall short of your relationship expectations? It is all too easy to fall into a relationship rut. Work, family, and life in general can wear you down and leave you with little energy to devote to your partner. No matter where you are, I have three suggestions for resolutions that will help you ensure that your relationship stays on track in 2013.

Happy New Year!

1. Try something new every week. Introducing a new activity into your weekly routine will ensure that you continue learning more about your partner. It will also be fun to find new ways to enjoy each other's company. And here's a hint: it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Prepare a new recipe for dinner together, or see a concert at a venue or in a genre you typically wouldn't attend. If you're short on ideas, local newspapers are filled with the goings-on about town. Websites like LivingSocial.com and also very helpful.

2. Choose a new skill to learn together. Having something to work toward together will bring you closer than ever before, and will help keep the passion alive. Is there a language you have always wanted to learn? Motivate each other to stay on track, and perhaps even plan a trip to a country that speaks it to reward yourselves for your hard work. If you are daredevils, try something adventurous like hang gliding or flying a plane. If you are athletic (or want to be), train together to run a race. It can be anything from a 5K to a marathon. If you have a competitive streak, enter in a tango competition a few months away and start working on your moves.

3. Create a fulfilling life outside of your relationship. Trust me, this is very important to having a happy and healthy relationship. You must ensure that your personal growth continues outside of what is going on with your partner. The happier you are with your life, the more you can bring to the table with your relationship. This means pursuing your hobbies, following up on your work goals, and having a strong and supportive network of friends.

Dating During The Holidays

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on December 24, 2012.)

The holiday season is a busy time for everyone whether you are single, married or in a relationship. Sometimes it's difficult to know the right and wrong things to do when it comes to dating during the holidays. If you are concerned that you might make a faux pas or two, have no fear, here are some rules to help you make it through the season.

Are you exchanging gifts with your beau?

1. Establish if you are giving gifts or not. If you have been together for awhile, chances are, you should be giving your beau a gift. However, if it's a new relationship, the two of you need to decide if you are doing gifts.

2. Make sure you have an appropriate party dress to wear to his work Holiday party and/or to his family's home. The right outfit is something festive yet conservative. Do not go with your new uber trendy outfit. And, if you are concerned that it might be too sexy, it is.

3. Don't misinterpret what an invitation to his holiday party means. Sometimes work holiday parties are dated functions and if his has one, chances are he will invite you because he needs to come with a date. Other company's do not allow guests. Don't make assumptions; before you get upset that he hasn't invited you, hint around about whether guests were allowed.

4. Only invite a new love interest to a holiday party with you if you can pay her appropriate attention. You don't want to invite someone to go to an event with you and then leave her alone in the corner. And you don't want to be so busy that your date will feel ignored such that he or she will look for attention elsewhere.

5. If he invites you to his home for the holidays, make sure you bring his mother flowers or a bottle of wine. And then the next day, either call to say what a lovely time you had or send a short note. His mother will notice this and comment positively or negatively accordingly.

6. Make sure to save time for your honey during the holiday party madness. We all get invited to tons of holiday gatherings but

do not book yourself so thin that you don't save time for the two of you to see each other. If you see him on December 1 and then don't come up for air again to see him until December 28th, chances are, he won't be around anymore by that point to see you ever again.

7. Figure out if going away together makes sense for the two of you. If you are going away together, that's great but if you aren't at that point yet, make sure you discuss what going away separately means so there are no misinterpretations. And make sure you make a solid effort to be in touch regularly to keep the momentum going.

8. If you are dating a few people casually during the holidays, make sure you remember who you took to what event, when. The holiday season can be such a whirlwind, you need to make sure you don't get so caught-up that you cause an issue for yourself.

9. If you are single during the holidays, keep in mind that this is an excellent time to meet someone. During this time of year, everyone is out and being social, so there are lots of opportunities to meet someone new. Plus, as the holidays approach people tend to take stock of their lives and become more interested in sharing with someone and coupling off.

10. Rule of thumb for a New Year's Eve date, if he hasn't asked you by Christmas, or broached the subject at all, chances are, he is not going to ask you. New Years Eve is a big night and takes some planning, maybe buying tickets to an event, making reservations etc so people tend to lock down those plans as early as possible. If he hasn't said word one by Christmas, make your own plans and then if he does ask you, try to incorporate him into what you are doing. In this way, you personally will be covered either way.

Samantha Says: Make A Change In Your Life

If you find yourself in a single girl rut, and you feel like you are never going to meet someone great – why not make a change in your life? As soon as you change one thing, quite often, you will find that everything else shifts around you. Even a change as small as a new hairstyle can make you feel younger and more confident. And when you feel especially pretty and secure, men will notice!

Samantha Says: Wear Color On A Date

Many women think black is their safe color, especially in colder months. However, men really do prefer women who wear color. It makes them seem more light, more feminine, and more fun. So when you are getting ready for a big date, try adding a little color into your wardrobe, even if it is just as an accessory or a jacket.

Samantha's Movie Pick: Silver Linings Playbook

Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper star.

While Silver Linings Playbook may be a romantic comedy, it is anything but typical of the genre. Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, and Robert De Niro, it is easily one of the best and most enjoyable films of the year. The movie deals with serious themes: Cooper suffers from a bipolar disorder and has a difficult time dealing with his wife's infidelity, and Lawrence is a recovering sex-addict. Despite their issues (and their age difference), Cooper and Lawrence have a definite spark. The evolution of their relationship will warm your heart, and will also have you laughing out loud. De Niro is also absolutely hilarious is Cooper's father, who is an obsessive-compulsive fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Silver Linings is already getting Oscar buzz; be sure to check it out soon.

Samantha's Dating Tip: Romance in a Blackout

Are you stuck in your New York apartment without power thanks to Hurricane Sandy? Don't despair. It may be dark and cold, and your iPad may have run out of juice, but, nonetheless, a blackout can be really fun and romantic if you have the right outlook about it. 

Lower Manhattan is dark.

First of all, have you noticed how everyone looks especially good in candlelight? It's true, and that can boost your confidence (and your physical attraction to your partner). Also, without the distraction of electronic devices, you're going to have to make your own fun. Play a board game or a card game with your beau (strip poker, anyone?) and you'll revel in a new way to enjoy each others' company. Furthermore, when it's dark and freezing, sometimes the only thing to do is the cuddle up under a blanket and open a bottle of wine. Now that's romantic. 

If you don't already have someone with whom to snuggle up, why not find a local bar or restaurant that is still open and operating with gas stoves and candles? It seems that the hurricane has instilled a sense of camaraderie amongst New Yorkers so you'll have a common bond with anyone you meet. It's never been this easy to strike up a conversation with someone new!

Samantha Says: Set Up An Online Profile

If you are single and you want to meet somebody, you have to put yourself out there as much as possible. To meet as many different people as you can, you should make an online dating profile. It will will introduce you to thousands of new guys. You never know where you will meet Mr. Right, so it’s worth exploring all the options out there!

Can You Tell Your Boyfriend How To Dress?

Women are often more fashion conscious than their partners, and often try to make their man dress their best. This is because women want to see their man looking as handsome and sexy as possible. Sometimes a certain fit of t-shirt or jeans can make him look this way, so they want him to wear it.

Miley likes Liam's outfit here.

Popstar Miley Cyrus tells Liam Hemsworth that he is not allowed to wear polo shirts because she doesn’t like the way they look on him. Is this acceptable? After all, she just wants him to look his best.

However, if your boyfriend started telling you what you can and cannot wear it would most probably cause an argument.

So if your boyfriend doesn’t dress in a style you find appealing, or worse than that has not real style at all in his wardrobe, is it acceptable for you to decide what he will and will not wear? Do you think your boyfriend would mind you dressing him up like your own man-barbie?

Samantha Says: When You're Out With The Girls...

One of the great things about being single is you can go on as many girls nights out as you want. Talking about your outfits, sharing funny stories, and bitching about men over drinks is always a great time.

However, if you are going out with your fellow single girls to meet men, you have to make sure that you are available for men to approach. If you are out in a group with all single girls, consider splitting up for a part of the night to speak to men in smaller groups. A big group of women are scary to a man – no matter how good looking or rich he is! 

Samantha's Sizzling Couple: Secret Wedding

Blake and Ryan tied the knot!

Did you hear the news? After a super secret wedding this past weekend in South Carolina, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are officially hitched. It was clear that this gorgeous couple was getting serious after they purchased a home together last spring in Bedford, New York. However, the wedding caught everyone off-guard! How they managed to keep it such a tight secret is a mystery to me.

It's been nearly a year since they started dating... Do you think this marriage will last?

How To Tell If Your Summer Fling Is The Real Thing

Summer is a prime time to fall in love. The days are long and the nights are warm. Your bronzed skin and beachy hair make you feel especially sexy. And, wearing skimpy clothing is perfectly dignified and socially acceptable. It’s no wonder that romance seems to particularly spark in this season. 

Is your summer fling meant to last?

However, not all summer loves are meant to last. Here are some tips to help you decipher if your relationship is built to endure through the fall and beyond, or if you should fling your beau to the curb on Labor Day.

It might be just a fling if: 

• You find yourself looking forward to your return to “real-life”
• You don't know his middle name, or other basic information about him
•  You can’t picture him without his tan and surfboard

It might be the real thing if:

• You have met his buddies, or better yet, his family
• You spend time together doing normal things, like cooking dinner or watching a movie on the couch
• You are already planning a couples Halloween costume 

So what are you going to do with your summer love?

Samantha's August Movie Pick: Savages

A great looking case

Savages tell the story of pot growing best buddies who fight against the Mexican drug rulers to save the gorgeous O, played by Blake Lively. The Gossip Girl princess is in a three-way relationship with the best buddies, Ben and Chon: played by Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch. After Ben and Chon refuse to sign a deal that would give the Mexican drug rulers huge percentage of their profits, the rulers kidnap O, and tell her protectors that they are going to abuse her until they can come up with enough money to buy her back. Trying to kill people for revenge, and raise $13 million comes as a challenge to the friends, and they go through various hardships to eventually save their treasured girlfriend.

This movie was a big deal for Lively as an actress, as it includes two lengthy sex scenes and shows her playing a totally different character to what people are used to seeing.

The ending of the movie faced criticism because of its easy way out approach. With a dark storyline, some bloody scenes and a beautiful cast, Savages is interesting and believable, and worth a visit to go see at your nearest movie theatre. Check out the times and places in New York.

Is Your Relationship Normal?

(Originally appeared in The Huffington Post, July 30, 2012.)

Everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship, and everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect relationship should be. However, most of the time, we end up in relationships that never resemble what we thought we would have, and we start to wonder whether or not this is okay. Usually, the answer surfaces when we compare our relationship to other people's and try to figure out if ours is better, worse or the same. Of course, we can never make this determination because one never knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is actually normal. If you are wondering if your relationship is normal, here are some pointers so you can figure that out...

1. Relationships are difficult, no matter what. If someone tells you otherwise, they are lying, or they aren't in a relationship.

2. Your relationship is normal as long as it works for you and your partner. Talk to your significant other about what "normal" means to him or her. As long as the two of you are on the same page and being true to yourselves and what you really want, it doesn't matter what others think. In today's day and age, there is no normal; our society is all about "anything goes."

3. Don't get caught up in peer pressure. If marriage isn't for you, but a monogamous committed relationship is, go ahead and have that relationship. As long as you and your partner are being honest about what you both really want and you are not pressuring each other, embrace the relationship that you are choosing to have.

4. If you aren't in a relationship but you want to build a family, that is perfectly okay. Single parents are very of the norm today; if it works for you, go for it.

5. Look around you and really notice other people's relationships. Not what you imagine them to be, but what they really are. No one's relationship is perfect, so don't think that you are alone in the fact that you have some issues with yours sometimes.

6. Don't believe "the grass is greener" elsewhere. You might wish some aspect of your best friend or colleague's relationship were part of yours, but I promise, there are many aspects of other people's relationship that you would never want.

7. Spend some time being thankful for what you have, instead of wanting something different. If you focus on your own relationship, you will see how happy things there make you.

8. If you think that your relationship is not "normal," then you need to have a discussion with your significant other and figure out ways to alter it that will make you happier. You need to be true to yourself and to your feelings.

9. Everybody disagrees and argues from time to time. This is common in any relationship. Your relationship would not be a a real relationship if there weren't some rocky days. It's okay to love him one day and hate her the next; that's "normal" because relationships are challenging. They can also be very worth it.

10. As much as normal comes in all different relationship packages, keep in mind that you should be having more happy days than sad ones in your relationship. Yes it's "normal" to argue, but it is not normal to argue everyday and it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy?

Enjoy Romantic Dates With Cute Summer Items

Perfect for a summer day.

Summer is perhaps the best time to start dating someone new because there is an endless list of amazing things you can do together. Between June and September, you can ditch indoor movie theaters and catch a movie in a park at sunset. You can avoid over-crowded restaurants and instead enjoy outdoor rooftops and terraces. 

Days at the park and barbecues are all part of the fun of summer, and I have the perfect items to take with you to make these outdoor dates the best they can possibly be.

On OpenSky, I have a cute picnic basket, which would be perfect to take to the park, to the beach, or to surprise your beau with somewhere special. 

I also have a very pretty and very practical wine preserver. This will allow you to save some for later if you don’t want to drink the entire bottle at your picnic.

Katy Perry Movie: A Part of Me

A Teenage Dream

Katy Perry has gone from singing in churches, to selling out world tours, to starring in her very own biographical 3D movie. A Part of Me shares behind the scenes footage from Katy's Teenage Dream world tour, including her dazzling performances and candid interviews.

In the movie, we see the popstar at her most exposed. Yet, she is still real and relatable. In one scene, she is caught minutes before she goes on stage, hysterically crying from the pressure of the show and the pending divorce of her marriage to Russell Brand.

Through tears and laughter she reveals her true self to her fans, coming across as a normal, fun girl living in a magical popstar bubble.

Check out when and where you can see the movie.

Samantha’s Summer Read: A Charmed Life

Makes you see the gems in your life

My Charmed Life by Beth Bernstein is a lovely summer read. The book is about the author herself and the loss of her mother who was her best friend, and who taught her how to love, overcome life’s biggest obstacles and... how to accessorize.

As a young girl, Beth watched as every piece of jewelry her mother wore was connected to a sentimental memory, of both life’s triumphs and it's challenges. Beth tells the story of her own romances and the jewelry she received from the many men who could not commit to her. The story takes the reader on a journey of glittering hilarity and hope, showing Beth’s personal highs and lows, until she realizes the best gems in life are the people who have always been there for you.

This novel will be perfect for a summers day or evening by the fireplace, and will leave you feeling positive and warm about your own journey in life.

What Are You Doing On The Fourth?

Happy 4th of July!

If you are looking to get away with your loved one this Independence Day, why not head to Washington to celebrate the holiday at a huge party. The W Hotel is hosting ‘Boom with aView’, from the roof terrace, with performances from cover band BurntSienna and a spectacular view of the city and the National Fireworks Display. 

You could also head to ‘Red, White and Boom’, to dance the night away at Kastles Stadium on the Southwest Waterfront Wharf with dancing to DJ Ricky Schramm, Drew Dixon Line, Yacht Rock Revue and the Morrison Brothers Band and an open bar. Great Meadow will be a great family spot where there will be pony rides, face-painting and clowns all day for the kids, and then a fireworks display and live music kicking off at dusk. Tickets to these events and many other events for you and your loved ones to enjoy, can be purchased here.

If you are staying in the city, Pier83 (West 42nd St, 8th Ave) is having a Rooftop Party – with a BBQ, a bar and a perfect viewing platform for the Macy’s Firework Display over the Hudson River. Tickets for this can be bought here. And tickets for the Freedom Fest Party at Pier 81, which also offers food and a cash bar, can be bought here.

The performers at Macy’s holiday show this year are Katy Perry and Kenny Chesney and the fireworks show can be watched for free on 12th Ave, between 24th and 49th street. From New York there are also boat trips, dinner and luxury firework cruises to go on with your honey; check them out here.

Relationship Ponder: Do You Like Your Man's Friends?

3's a crowd

The new comedy movie ‘Ted’, starring SethMacFarlane and Mark Wahlberg will be released this Friday, June 29^th. The movie tells the story of a man whose best friend is Ted, the Teddy Bear, and about the terrible and silly implications this friendship has on his relationship with gorgeous girlfriend, Mila Kunis.

Although your man’s best friend may not be as extreme as a teddy bear, best friends can still get in the way of your relationship. The best way to handle this situation is to try to be accepting, just as you would expect your man to do if he didn’t love your best friend. Unless your man’s best friend is actually a stuffed toy and then you have permission to say something!  Check out the NYC movie showtimes here. 

Comedy Flick Pick: That’s My Boy

That's my Boy

That’s My Boy, starring Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg and Leighton Meester was released in movie theatres last week. This light-hearted movie that has a few inappropriate jokes and scenes will keep you and your date laughing the whole way through. Gossip Girl’s Meester looks gorgeous, particularly in a Vera Wang wedding gown, and Sandler and Samberg keep the jokes flowing.

Perhaps catch a drink or dinner after the movie and talk through some of the many jokes and controversial twists in the story; this will provide an instant and fun conversation ice breakers for your date. Enjoy!